Show Me Some Good News

I thought I would never say this, but I miss watching a Chinese newscast. Boy, I can use a little deception these days.

A Chinese newscast opens with one of our nation's leaders shaking hands with another nation's leader. Our leader is smiling that stately, unflappable, showing-the-right-amount-of-teeth-and enthusiasm smile. The voiceover from the newscaster says "President so and so received the leader of country A today. They conducted friendly discussions. Both sides pledged to strengthen cooperation and communications between the two nations. Leader A reiterated the stance that there's only one China and that Taiwan is an inseparable part of the Chinese territory."

Then the newscast goes on to say that our nation's GDP over the last quarter has grown at the right pace following to the vision or our leaders, that a new technology is on track to cure a recalcitrant disease under the great leadership of the Party, and that the new rural policy is bringing unprecedented prosperity to farmers.

If there's any disaster, it would be "Premier so and so visits disaster victims and sends relief materials to their homes. Speedy recovery and reconstruction are underway under the great leadership of our Party and National leaders."

"Now, let's turn to international news." says the newscaster, who's also beaming a stately, showing-the-right-amount-of-teeth-and enthusiasm smile. The international news shows that the self-righteous big bully called the United States is losing it. (My mom has asked me in recent months if I'm really living in crime-ridden streets and if I were riding a horse to work because nobody in America could afford driving anymore. Now she simply turns to other channels when the news hits the "Imperial-America-is-sinking" segment, because the thought of me losing my job and begging in a violence-torn street drives her crazy.)

Sometimes, the newscast ends with a cute little Japanese robot who can clean your shoes while singing, or the release of a new Hollywood blockbuster. (It kinds of trips me here that they promote the hallmark of the capitalist culture from the crumbling imperial America.)

So, are you getting what I'm trying to say? I always emerge from the Chinese newscast with a sense that our great nation is on track to becoming greater in the steady leadership our greatest leaders. Bad things happen, but as long as you have faith in our Party, the leaders' guiding hands will steer us back to peace and prosperity.

Now my days here in the US starts with reading a Washington Post front page story that says the stock market is diving and unemployment rate is soaring. Another headline says the government is assembling a big package to jolt the economy back to life (Thank God!), but then the whole page and a half article tells me nobody knows for sure if this thing is going to work. (Are you telling me that you guys don't have leaders that can fix everything?!) Then an NPR host is interviewing a supposedly well-known economist who predicts that the recession could go on for five years. (Don't all the economists get government memo about how to talk up people's confidence and encourage everyone to buy stuff?)

Great! Now my day has been ruined before it's even started.

Maybe the newspapers wouldn't be dying in droves, had they learned how to do news like the Chinese.